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My hair is “Over-Producted.”

I am a simple guy, with simple needs.

I like simple food like mashed potatoes.

I watch simple shows on TV.

I am most comfortable in jeans and a sweatshirt.

And I do not wear any jewelry other than a wedding ring.

I think this is because I lived in Iowa as a kid. 

And Iowa is a simple state.

That said, living with four women can complicate life.In lots of different ways. The one that has become  particularly clear is in the area of hair products.

Shampoo specifically

We have five people in our house and we must have a dozen different kinds of shampoo. We have shampoo for fine hair, shampoo for thick hair. shampoo for fussy hair, and shampoo for colored hair…

We are taking something that is inherently simple,Soap for Hair, and turning it into rocket science. But at the end of the day, aren’t the directions “Wet. Lather. Rinse?”

Seems pretty simple to me…

And there’s the thing. Shampoo is expensive. Almost as expensive as rocket science I think.

So when I hop in the shower and prepare to “Wet. Lather. Rinse” I have a handful of very colorful, exotic bottles making a thousand different promises to “volumeize” and “settle” and “add body” and so on and so on and so on…

I don’t need that.

I just need my hair to not look like a pack of opossums just settled in for a long winter’s nap. I don’t need it to smell like a bouquet of wildflowers plucked from the island nation of Bora-Bora.

But no, because I live with a house full of women, I am destined to have hair that is over-producted, and way prettier, smellier, and un-simple than I deserve.

It’s like my hair needs a Chevrolet, and my shower is parked full of Corvettes.