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Top 10 Reasons I think it’s great that the church we got married in is being turned into an Amusement Park.

In 1992 The Beautiful Bride and I got married at what was then Two Rivers Baptist Church. I rocked a mullet, she had hair as big as the great outdoors, and we were crazy in love.

Now almost 20 years later nothing has changed.

Except the mullet.

And the fact that it looks like the church we got married in is soon going to be turned into an amusement park. Many may mourn the downfall of the old church, I think it is great.

In fact, here are the Top 10 Reasons I think it’s great that the church we got married in is being turned into an Amusement Park.

  1. They have a built in dunking booth.
  2. At least it’s not getting turned into an outlet mall.
  3. The water park will give us a chance to answer the age-old question, “What does the preacher wear under that robe?”
  4. Corn dogs > communion wafers
  5. Grape Slushee in a cup shaped like an elephant  > grape juice
  6. Aren’t a lot of preacher s just really glorified carnival barkers anyway?
  7. Who wouldn’t want to ride the roller coaster called the “Holy Roller?”
  8. The Hanuted House that plays only Southern Gospel wannabee’s screeching and wailing at the top of their lungs is sure to incite fear and trembling
  9. The park mascot could be The Church Lady.
  10.  Who else can say “Hey kids, look over there…see the Dippin’ Dots booth? That’s where Mommy and I got married.”
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