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Ten thousand shoes and none of them in the closet

ImageThere are four women at my house. Which means, since we have had no unfortunate run-ins with lawnmowers or alligators, that there are eight female feet at my house.

Which also means that at any given time there are about ten thousand shoes laying in the floor somewhere in our house. 

Why?

Why are there so many shoes on the floor?

The question of the plethora of shoes dotting my floor has plagued for years. I have so many questions and so very few answers. 

  1. Why is it impossible for anyone else at my house to pick up their shoes? 
  2. How many shoes do they need to wear in a day?
  3. Did Chuck Taylor ever imagine that his ubiquitous shoes would end up as a fashion statement for teenage girls?
  4. Do teenage girls have any idea who Chuck Taylor is?
  5. Is the flood of shoes really an Old Testament plague that just came a few thousand years too late?
  6. Are there shoe fairies that come out and night and scatter shoes about the house?
  7. How did a shoe end up on top of the refrigerator?
  8. Never mind, don’t answer that, I don’t want to know.
  9. If I gathered up the shoes that do not make it to a closet before bed every night, now long would it take until someone noticed that shoes were missing?
  10. Weeks?
  11. Months?
  12. Why do we keep buying shoes? Surely there can’t be any more colors or shapes or sizes that we do not have?

These are the things that keep me up at night.