What exactly is a “Super Model?”

So I learned this morning that the recording artist Seal and the “Super Model” Heidi Klum are getting a divorce.

And while that is undeniably tragic for their family and their children, it leaves me with the question, “What exactly is a ‘Super Model?’”

Wikipedia has a definition.

So does Dictionary.com.

As I understand it, a “super model” is basically it is a pretty person who does pretty person things and gets paid a pretty penny to do it.

As a person who is, and never was, in any danger of being lumped into any “model” category at all, I have some questions:

–          What exactly is the difference between a regular model and a “super model?”

–          Is it size, shape, snootiness, poutiness…?

–          What throws one over the edge from getting paid some money to be pretty to being paid tons of money to be pretty?

–          When does one know that one gets called up from the minor league to the majors? (“Paging Miss Svetlana Irvanaskomi, the 4:53pm Beauty Express is about leave for Super-ville…”

–          Do you ever get moved down from “Super Model” to “Regular Model?”

–          If so, I can only imagine the drama involved in that discussion. (“Uh Sven…we’ve been looking at some of your recent work and frankly, it’s just “Regular. Plus you seem to have put on a lot of weight…at least 8 or 10 ounces, and that is unacceptable.”

–          Is it like being named to the Supreme Court or Queen of England, the title is yours till you die?

–          Surely this is some sort of Statue of Limitations? I for one do not want to see an 88-year-old “Super Model” parading around in her altogether.

–          Is there some sort of international authority or committee, like the United Nations or beautiful people, which makes the distinction?

–          “On behalf of the International Galaxic Super Committee on Super Modeldom, the IGSCSM, we are proud to confer on you the title “Super Model.”

–          Do you get a sash or crown?

–          Is there category beyond “Super Model?”

–          Maybe “Super Duper Model?”

–          Or “Ultra-Super Deluxe Model?”

–          But never, ever “Super-Sized Model?”

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Posted on January 25, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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