Bracelet guys and non-bracelet guys

I have spent a long time studying people and I think I have it figured out. In this world there are two kinds of men: Bracelet guys and Non-bracelet guys.

I think this distinction cuts all sorts of socio-economic barriers and goes beyond other identifiers. And I think the reason that this is the key identifier for groups of men is that these GROUPS NEVER CHANGE. Guys who are bracelet guys are always bracelet guys.  And guys who are non-bracelet guys are always non-bracelet guys.

This distinction does not work for other groups because there is always some movement between the two groups, no matter the distinction. For example, Hat Guys and Non-Hat Guys. Hat Guys will always wear hats. To their job, hunting, church, Grandma’s funeral, whatever…a Hat Guy will always wear a hat. A Non-Hat Guy will almost always never wear a hat. But sometimes he will…maybe if it’s cold or he’s going to the Kentucky Derby or some other “hat-wearing” sort of event.

So while it seems that there should be a clear eternal distinction between Hat Guys and Non-Hat Guys, it is not as clear as you would think…

But Bracelet Guys…

Simply put, Bracelet Guys will always wear bracelets. They will wear them to work, to the big game, to Grandma’s funeral, on the beach, in the hot tub, every where.

And it is very easy to tell a Bracelet Guy from a Non-Bracelet Guy. Even when you can;t see the Bracelet. It will become evident in the handshake.

The telltale sign is very subtle, but very clear.

When a Bracelet Guy comes up to shake hands with you, he will look you in the eye, start to reach out his hand, and pay attention now, this is the big sign…Just after they start to reach out with their hand and before they clasp yours, the Bracelet Guy will always do a slight, almost imperceptible twitch of their arm to shake the bracelet loose from their shirtsleeve and then and only then, after the twitch, will they shake your hand. That hand shake twitch is so deeply ingrained in the Bracelet Guy that even if his bracelet had been stolen by Sandinista Guerilla’s back in the mid 1980’s and he had not yet replaced his bracelet, he would still have to twist his arm before he shook your hand.

Once a Bracelet Guy, always a Bracelet Guy.

The Non-Bracelet Guy would never do the twitch. Couldn’t if his life depended on it.

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Posted on January 13, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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