Spit is the old hair spray

Parenting makes you do weird things. I think maybe it’s the sleep deprivation, or perhaps the realization that simple comfort in the fact that “There are people doing this a lot worse than me” gives you a certain inherent freedom to do goofy things.

Things you would never have previously have done.

For example, I recall any number of times, back when the girls were younger, and I would have them out somewhere when I noticed that their hair was out-of-place. At this point I had three options: 1) Ignore it and hope that no one else saw the tangled hair that looked like Spanish moss hanging from the giant Live Oak tree’s in Charleston; 2) leave the store, get back in the car, buckle into the car seat, drive all the way back home, and brush the nasty beast back into submission; or 3) spit in my hand and rub a fist full of spittle across their head in hopes of smearing the offending follicles back to their tiny little head.

Guess which one I chose more often than not…


Because for some reason, since I was now a Dad, I felt like hocking a loogie and decoupaging my daughter’s hair to her scalp was an appropriate hair styling activity.

Why? Why did I think this was ok?

Because I would NEVER, if I was out in public by myself and had a hair issue think, “You know what would make your hair look great? Exactly…that’s right…a big glob of spit smacked upside your head would make your hair look great.”

I would not do that to myself, so why exactly did I think it was perfect grooming for the girls?

Repeat after me “Spit does not make hair look better.”

I can only imagine trying that one of the girls now that they are teenagers. If I came at their hair with a hand full of spit now, I would draw back a nub…

I blame the whole thing on the sleep deprivation,

Or their Mommy…I can blame anything on her right? (now excuse me as I run away for saying that, The Beautiful Bride is about to spit at me…and I’m pretty sure she is not trying to fix my hair.)

Posted on January 10, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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