Statute of limitations
I had a horrifying thought last night. (And it is doubly horrifying given the subject matter…)
My thought was “What if, when the girls start to go on dates with boys, if one of the boys decides he would rather date one sister after he had dated another of the sisters?”
Cue the due and gloom music…bum-bum-bummmmm.
For example: Little Jimmy Jones sees one the Atwood Girl #1. And Jimmy thinks “Hmmmm… Atwood Girl #1 sure is a pretty, smart, confident, solid in her faith, girl. I think I would like to ask her to go with me to some sort of social outing.”
Then Little Jimmy Jones and Atwood Girl #1 attend the initial social gathering and he by chance he meets Atwood Girl #2. And the
barbarian young man thinks to himself thinks “Hmmmm… Atwood Girl #2 sure is a pretty, smart, confident, solid in her faith, girl. I think I would like to ask her to go with me to some sort of social outing.”
If the aforementioned invitation from Little Jimmy Jones to Atwood Girl #2 were to happen after a social outing between Little Jimmy Jones and Atwood Girl #1, I can say with certain confidence that my house would literally explode.
Now let’s be clear, my daughters love one another.
And I want to do everything I can to maintain the fragile peace that exists in a home with three teenage daughters…
That is why I will NOT let some nappy headed indecisive boy upset the apple cart…
So I have decided that as a pro-active strategy I will develop the “AtwoodZoo Daughter Dating Statue of Limitations.This document, to be signed at the initial pick-up of the first AtwoodZoo young lady by the
barbarian young man and subsequently notarized, will simply state:
“I do solemnly swear that I (undersigned
barbarianyoung man ) will not invite more than one young lady from AtwoodZoo to a social event, gathering, activity, or recreational happening in the course of 1 (one) calendar year. The determination of whether a specific a social event, gathering, activity, or recreational happening constitutes a “date” is solely determined by Executive Management of the AtwoodZoo. Penalties for any transgressions whether intentional or not (and let’s face it, any transgression is going to be intentional, but just to give you some sort of cover, I will consider that than transgressions committed by you young man, could POSSIBLY BUT NOT LIKELY be incidental…but I digress) are also solely determined by Executive Management of the AtwoodZoo and while I am not going to tell you what they are right now, you trust me, you are NOT going to like them.”
So, how do you think this is going to turn out for me?