Out of words

I’ve heard that in the course of a day men use about 10,000 words, while women use 20,000. This if true, creates any awfully big problem for a guy like me.

Let’s assume that in the course of the day I use my 10,000 words at the office so by the time 5:00 pm rolls around and I head for home, I am just about out of things to say. And let’s also assume that the four women at my house, in the course of school or at Show Offs Art, they each use 10,000 words by 5:00 pm too.

So at 5:00 pm we have the following situation:

Dad = 0 words.

Girls = 4 x 10,000 words

Now do the math.

I was no whiz in algebra but even I know that 0<40,000.

Which means that every evening I come home with literally NO WORDS left to be said, plop down defenseless and mute on the couch, and then all of sudden I am attacked by a verbal army packing 40,000 words that they have to fire by bedtime.

As they know I have reached my word count for the day, they prey on the defenseless, mute victim. I am clearly unarmed and therefore incapable of putting up a fight and as such they do not need to hide behind any sort of defense mechanism or social pretense. They just get right up in my face and fire at will.

“Dad…did you know…?

“Daddy can we go…”

“Hey dad, do you have any money so I can….?”

“Honey have you seen…”

On and on and on and on and on it goes with no consideration or mercy or grace. It’s almost as if, somehow at 5:00 pm every night, the dictionary takes on the form of Niagara Falls and releases a torrential tsunami of words down upon my lifeless form.

And I can do nothing but sit there and take it like an (out of words) man.

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Posted on December 19, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I liked this post 😀

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