“No, exactly what time?”

We got to spend some time this weekend with a bunch of families with young kids and it reminded me of some conversations Annette and I had when the girls were little…


Ring. Ring. Ring.


Mommy                       (with breathless exhaustion) Hello…oh hi.?


Daddy                         So how are you? And how is little snookums?


Mommy                       (implied sigh) We’re fine. The same. Tired.


Daddy                         (trying to bring some sunshine to the darkness) Well I am glad that you are able to…uhm…listen Mr. Rutledge just called, and guess  what…


Mommy                       what?


Daddy                         Well, you know how I said that he liked my report on the performance of the overseas market, and that…


Mommy                       (muffled) Hang on a minute…(to the baby) Oh did you spit up again… (bigger sigh, but to no one in particular) I just got a shower and now you threw up on my neck and it’s…


Daddy                         is everything OK?


Mommy                       Yes…Snookums just spit up on my neck, and I just got a shower cause she finally laid down…


Daddy                         (confused) You just got out of the shower? It’s like 3:30 in the afternoon. Why were…


Mommy                       (cutting him off) because Snookums finally settled down and then I  got a load of laundry started and then before I could even dry my hair she was up screaming, so I had to go get here, and then the phone rang and so I was carrying her talking to you and then she  barfed on my neck. And so now I have bark all down my back so I need to get back in the shower, but Snookums is hungry so I can’t  so I guess I am getting ready to sit down and nurse her with my back covered in baby yack and my hair still wet which really                                           doesn’t matter since I have to get back in the shower at some point and Holly and Jeff want to come over and see the baby and the  house is a wreck and we don’t have anything to drink and I smell like baby vomit and everythinbg I won smells like baby vomit                         except for the clothes that smell like baby poop and I just can’t seem to get her on any kind of schedule and all the books and my mom and your mom and my granny all they ever talk about is how  important it is to get Snookums on a schedule and the only                                                  schedule she wants to be on is to be up every minute  of the night  and every minute of the day and I thought that babies slept a lot.  So what did you want?


Daddy                         (haltingly) uhm, I was asking…I forget.


Mommy                       Did you call your mother?


Daddy                         (haltingly, again) Uhm…call my mother?


Mommy                       Yes. You said you were going to call your mother to come keep  Snookums for a couple of hours one night next weekend so we could go out to dinner. Do you remember talking about that?


Daddy                         Yes, I remember. I just forgot to call. I’ll do it …


Mommy                       Do you not want to go out to dinner with me? Do you think I am  gross because I smell like baby vomit and baby poop and baby everything else every minute of the baby day? Is that it? You knowyou are…


Daddy                         No it’s not that. It’s just that remember I said Mr. Rutledge called  and he wants me to go to a meeting with him next week and talk  about my report.


Mommy                       Oh, that sounds good.


Daddy                         Yeah, and the meeting is (said very quickly, like a machine gun) Las Vegasand I need to fly out first thing in the morning and I’ll be back on Thursday afternoon and we…hello…hello…are you there…hello….


Posted on December 12, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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