Parenting involves lots of responsibility and decision making. Actually as I mentally run down the list of things that fall solely to the dad, it seems to me that nearly every decision is mom’s and frankly she “decides” to let dad’s be in charge of only five things: vomit, bugs, spiders, snakes, and chunky milk.
While the first four are obvious, it took me a few years to comprehend fully the “chunky milk” responsibility. Basically anytime there is a school lunch thermos that has spent the weekend in the back of the car, or maybe a bed-time glass of milk that get set behind the night stand for a couple of weeks, dad gets called into action. And it is not in the first part of the disposal of the milk that is the problem; it is in digging around at the bottom of the glass to get the chunky parts that are holding on for dear life. I have discovered it is this dairy adhesive that, when separated, stinks with the stench of a thousand-year-old skunk stuffed into the back of a 1974 Chevy parked on the side of the road in July in western Arizona . That is bad part of the chunk milk responsibility.
The only thing worse than clearing out the chunky milk from the nasty glass is hearing your lovely wife say, as she conveniently walks back in the room to see you wiping your tears and clenching your gut from the unholy stank, “Oh honey I meant for you to throw that away. Our little pumpkin cannot possibly use that again. Didn’t you smell it when you cleaned it out?”
Makes me long for more vomit, snakes, spiders, and bugs.