Top 10 Reasons “Same Old Lang Syne” is NOT a Christmas song.
I like Christmas music. I LOVE Christmas song.
And I like Dan Fogelberg’s music. “Longer.” “Leader of the Band.” “Run for the Roses.” “Same Old Lang Syne.” You can’t get much better ‘80’s soft-rock than that.
But here’s the thing. Every time the Christmas season rolls around, the Christmas music stations insist on inserting “Same Old Lang Syne” into the rotation.
“Same Old Lang Syne” is a nice song.
“Same Old Lang Syne” is a lovely song. It even has a groovy Michael Brecker soprano saxophone solo at the end.
But here’s the thing.
“Same Old Lang Syne” is NOT a Christmas.
And so to avoid confusion over the holiday season, here are the Top-10 Reasons “Same Old Lang Syne” is NOT a Christmas song.
- Real Christmas songs do not use the word “lover.”
- Real Christmas songs are not plaintive about loves lost. They are plaintive about not being home for Christmas or the lack of snow at Christmas.
- “Auld Ang Syne” is a New Year’s Eve song. So if this song is “Same Old Lang Syne,” how can it possibly be about Christmas?
- No sleigh bells. How can a song be Christmas song without sleigh bells?
- The song references a six-pack. Christmas songs do not reference six packs.
- Unless they are six packs of reindeer.
- The word “hell” is in the lyrics. Christmas songs should reference hot chocolate and hot fires, not hot places of eternal damnation.
- In real Christmas songs, snow does not turn into rain. Snow turns into snowballs, snowmen, or White Christmases.
- You cannot tap your toe to “Same Old Lang Syne.” Toe-tappabilty is paramount to success as a Christmas song. (The only allowed exception to this rule is Silent Night.)
- Just because a song has the word “Christmas” in the lyrics does not make it a Christmas song.
So please join me in not listening to “Same Old Lang Syne” this Christmas season.