I am not a Tall Food kind of person

I think there are two kinds of people in this world.

There are tall food kind of people and not-tall-food kind of people.

I am of the “not-tall-food” tribe.

I have nothing against tall food. It’s just that I am intimidated by it.

For sake of discussion, “Tall food” is the kind of food they have at fancy restaurants, the kind of food that has sprigs and “accompaniments” and is surrounded by fancy sauce squirted in designs all around the edge of the plate. Tall food, is by definition, taller than it is wider. I can appreciate the art that is involved in constructing tall food. There is a high level of architecture and design and engineering and “presentation” that is certainly impressive.

But truly, after a work of Tall Food art is brought  to the table, where do you start? I am always afraid that my dinner will be like a game of Jenga. What if I pull the wrong spritz or sprig then the whole thing will tumble off the plate and end up on the floor with a thump that would hit the Richter scale. I cannot handle that sort of humiliation, where I end up with a lap full of “Boysenybery extracted coucous with a hint of lemon butter esperade  and champagne gorgonzola.” How do I go to the dry cleaner and say I got something on my pants but it cam from such an altitude that I have not idea what it is?

I am a flat food eater.

I think it stems for the fact that I grew up in Iowa, a very flat state. There we ate pancakes and minute steaks and helpings of vegetables that clung to the plate. If we were crazy, we would elevate a small mound of mashed potatoes. But there were no pillars or posts or stacks of food. One food in one place on one plate.

Food was not aspirational. It did not desire to climb to the sky or be paired with a dozen of its culinary cousins or be confused with a piece of art of loan from the Museum of Modern Art.

It was just food, plain and simple.

Flat and functional.

Because, as best I can tell, at the end of the meal, the food all ends up looking the same.

So how do you like your food – flat or short?


Posted on October 25, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I too am a flat food kind of guy. Unless of course it is a tall pile of french fries like J. Alexander’s. Those are ok. 🙂

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