How did you know that “She” was “The One?”

I was talking with a good friend yesterday, just catching up on life. He and his super-cool wife have an amazing young son. This little one is just starting to move out of the “small blob of human looking thing that sleeps and screams all the time” phase into the “Yeah, I know I’m amazing cause all I have to do is lay on this blanket and smile at you and you just start crying and commenting about the wonder and majesty of the universe” phase.

Our conversation went as most conversations about little babies go.

“He’s amazing.”

“He’s incredible.”

“I thank God for my wife every day; I don’t know how she does it.

“Can you believe the stuff that comes out of his body?”

So in about 30 seconds we went from talking about the wonder of creation to a discussion of iridescent neon green diarrhea.

Frankly the whole baby vomit/poop thing is still a mystery to me, and we are years removed from the neon-green excrement stage of life. Just exactly how is the body of a little bitty baby able to do those miraculous biological functions wherein they ingest regular looking beige colored fluids and then presto-chango alakazam, the very same body fluids that entered their bodies as basic beige exit that tiny little body, in any evacuation routes possible, as glow-in-the-dark nuclear reactor grade green fluid. And even more amazing to me is the fact that this miraculous fluid is evidently lighter than most all other matter on Earth as it is able to be shot clear across the room like a clown catapulting out of a circus cannon.  Has any scientist ever done any sort of experiment on the gravity-defying properties of baby projectile vomit? I bet that report would win some sort of Nobel Prize.

So after we reviewed the poo report, my friend and I paused in amazement at the eternal mystery that is baby vomit. And at how often my friend and his wife have to use the carpet cleaner.

Then he said the most interesting thing. “Did you know that it was because of my then girlfriend’s, now wife, vomit that I knew she would be the girl I married?”

Do tell….

Turns out that at one point in their relationship, his then-girlfriend had thrown up in the car on the way back to her house.  So being the gentleman that he is, my buddy walked her in to the house, helped her get settled, and then returned to the car to review the carnage.

And this is where it gets amazing.

Because he then, with his own bare hands, began to clean up the vomit that was in every crevice of the side pocket door and floor of the car.

Did I mention it was WITH HIS OWN BARE HANDS!

Scoop by scoop. Clump by clump. Dry heave by dry heave. He cleaned up her car.

And in the midst of cleaning up the vomit in her car with his own bare hands, he realized, “If I am willing to clean up the vomit in her car, this must be the girl for me.”

Love works in mysterious ways.

So my question is, when or how, did you know that “She” was “The One?”

Hopefully it did not involve any bodily functions…


Posted on October 11, 2011, in Dad stuff and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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