I finally figured out why I do not like garage sales.

We had a garage sale on Saturday. More accurately The Beautiful Bride and Macie had a garage sale and I carried some things to the garage.

Let me be perfectly clear about this – I have always been against garage sales.

Every now and then, however, the normally sane and rational Beautiful Bride will get an idea to have a garage sale (normally whenever the neighborhood association plans a “neighborhood” sale.) It is at the same moment she has a “let’s have a garage sale” idea that I have also an idea.

And my idea is this.

Let’s not have a garage sale.

But as with most everything, I get out voted 1-1.

I have always thought that I was against garage sales because I was, for lack of a better term, selfish.  Because whenever you have a garage sale, you end up eating through up a Friday night and Saturday morning. Which are like gold to me.  I love to have time to just chill out and those two times are the best shot I have doing nothing.

So when The Beautiful Bride announced we were going to be part of the evil neighborhood garage sale, I was less than thrilled. But I put my big boy pants on and helped. I drug stuff down from the attic and gathered up some dusty books and took them all to the garage. I even helped decide prices. (“Everything is a dollar.” The way I look at it, even if it is inherently worth more, 1) I really don’t have an idea what any junk merchandise is worth; and 2) if I get a buck for something that I had forgotten about, it is free money.)

So at the crack of dawn on Saturday, we got up for the garage sale.

We moved all the tables to the driveway, Macie set up a combo lemonade stand/bake sale and we put a balloon on the mailbox.

And the people came. And they bought. And mostly I stayed inside.

But the one time I was outside was when I realized why I really did not garage sales.

See there was a garage-sale-shopping-guy looking through some of my stuff. And then he turned to his garage-sale-shopping-wife and he shrugged and said “there’s really nothing here, let’s go.”

I waved and said “Good bye” while on the inside I was screaming “What? What are you thinking you garage-sale-shopping-guy? Really nothing here? NOTHING HERE?????”

The gall this guy showed. He was looking down on my garage sale stuff. He was saying that the stuff I said was worth nothing was actually not worth having. The audacity. And it dawned on me. I was truly offended because this guy was judging my junk. How dare he turn and sniff at what I put on the table. Who does he think he is?

And then I had an epiphany.

The main reason I do not like garage sales is because I do not want anyone to judge what I (or my junk) is worth. Or worse, I do not want them to say that it is worth nothing. Everything that was for sale I most likely paid cash money for at some point. So at some point I found some value in it.

And then to have some garage-sale-shopping-guy tell me that the stuff that I found valuable at one point was worthless was well…just plain mean.

And so therefore, I declare that we will have no more garage sales.

Not because we won’t have stuff worthy of a garage sale, but simply because my fragile heart can’t handle it.

(I know there is a deep spiritual implication in all of this, I just haven’t figured it out yet – anyone have any ideas?)

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Posted on October 3, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Wow…I can relate here. Garage sales are brutal. I’ve been there when they scanned the area and then said, “It’s all junk”….when in fact, it was super hard to get rid of these nice things that I REALLY didn’t want to sell at all…but in trying to be a responsible adult, I did…

    My husband loves to go to garage sales, but doesn’t like to have one…for that reason as well. And definitely because just preparing for the garage sale takes up at least one full day (or more) before the big day….

    It made us really examine what we buy and bring home….do we really need it? Will we really use it? Can we do without it? It kinda hurts to think of all the things we paid for, full price, and then sell for 50 cents down the road….not very smart on our part.

  2. Oh, I have a few ideas sweetheart…..in love, I will ask for no more garage sales….
    the Beautiful Bride

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