The top 10 reasons I think that I would like to be Amish

I drove through Lawrenceburg, Tennessee this afternoon. It was a beautiful day, I had the sunroof thrown open while I listened to the “80’s” station on XM and ate a giant plain vanilla cone from Dairy Queen

In the course of about 10 miles, I must have passed a hundred Amish buggies. Driven by a hundred Amish guys who all looked exactly the same.

And I thought to myself as drove past the non-upwardly mobile Amish buggies, “you know, there is something very intriguing about being an Amish person. There’s a fairly large number of Amish people, so there must be a lot of really good reasons to be Amish.”

Here are the top reasons I could come up with to be Amish:

  1. The epic beards.
  2. I would have no idea who Kim Kardashian is.
  3. I could drive my buggy into Sonic for Happy Hour.
  4. The epic hats
  5. I would never have a cell phone call drop.
  6. I would have friends named “Sven” and “Amos”
  7. I could open a store in Lawrenceburg called “Amish R Us.”
  8. I really like wool trousers.
  9. I would never have to see a TV commercial that asks “have you been injured in a buggy accident?”
  10. I would never have to pull over for a police car or ambulance because I would already be pulled over to the side of the road driving my buggy.
If you are Amish and reading this blog, could you please shoot me an email and let me know the other things I would really like about being Amish.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted on September 16, 2011, in Dad stuff and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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