The top 10 reasons I think that I would like to be Amish
I drove through Lawrenceburg, Tennessee this afternoon. It was a beautiful day, I had the sunroof thrown open while I listened to the “80’s” station on XM and ate a giant plain vanilla cone from Dairy Queen
In the course of about 10 miles, I must have passed a hundred Amish buggies. Driven by a hundred Amish guys who all looked exactly the same.
And I thought to myself as drove past the non-upwardly mobile Amish buggies, “you know, there is something very intriguing about being an Amish person. There’s a fairly large number of Amish people, so there must be a lot of really good reasons to be Amish.”
Here are the top reasons I could come up with to be Amish:
- The epic beards.
- I would have no idea who Kim Kardashian is.
- I could drive my buggy into Sonic for Happy Hour.
- The epic hats
- I would never have a cell phone call drop.
- I would have friends named “Sven” and “Amos”
- I could open a store in Lawrenceburg called “Amish R Us.”
- I really like wool trousers.
- I would never have to see a TV commercial that asks “have you been injured in a buggy accident?”
- I would never have to pull over for a police car or ambulance because I would already be pulled over to the side of the road driving my buggy.