Getting comfortable with “I don’t know…”
I’m a guy.
Which, by definition, means that I like (some would say NEED) to be right all the time. To win all the time. To have all the answers all the time.
And I do.
I like (errr… NEED) to be right nearly all the time. I really, really, really like to win. And I am not at all fond of not knowing or being able to get the answer to a question.
Which has made faith hard for me at times.
Because there have been lots of times when I wanted to wrestle God to the ground, and put Him in a sleeper hold until I got the answer to the question “why did my mom die when I was 14?” Or I needed a 74-page theological exegesis (in Greek single-spaced) explaining why Madison, of all the zillion kids in the world that get ear infections every day, had to be the one who had that crazy germ turn into bacterial meningitis?
I needed to know. I wanted to know. I HAD TO KNOW.
But then time passed…
And maybe my faith grew a bit…
Or maybe my stubbornness slipped a bit…
But now, I find that I do not need to have all the answers to every question neatly wrapped up with a shiny bow. I find that I am (sometimes) content with willing to accept that “I don’t know…” is an okay answer to some questions.
But even more than that, I am now finding that “I don’t know…” is actually a pretty good answer to a lot of questions.
Because when I say (or, gulp, admit) that “I don’t know…” I think I am also saying (or admitting) that I know that God knows. And since He is the God of the Universe, I guess i need to understand that there are going to be things that He can see from His giant lifeguard chair in the sky, that I cannot see from my worn-out suburban recliner.
So every day I try to get a little more comfortable with saying “I don’t know…” in life. Cause it seems the less I need to know, and the more I am willing to trust, the better things get.
How are you with saying “I don’t know…” to the tough things in life?