Creamy, lotion-y hands

If you see me today, please take time to compliment me on my creamy, lotion-y hands. Because they really are. Both creamy and lotion-y. And they smell like honeycomb and honeysuckle. Or some sort of herbally-influenced conflagration of smells.

And you ask, pray tell, why do you share this information?

Because of the context.

As it turns out, from what I learned earlier today, I have an additional “dad job” that I was not aware of.

You see, as a dad I have lots of jobs. The primary two are accounts receivable and transportation. Not accounts payable mind you, the Beautiful Brides head’s up that department…

In addition to those two very important responsibilities, I have lots of other jobs including:

  • killing spiders
  • carrying out the garbage
  • hanging things on the wall so they do not fall and wound anyone
  • answering the phone when no one recognizes the number
  • carrying things
  • stopping at the grocery store
  • returning thinsg that have been bought but are no longer needed or wanted (especially when there is no receipt to be found.)
  • other duties as assigned
And now, as I have just learned, I have a new job.
Which is “wiping all the extra lotion off the hands of the girl who put too much lotion on her hands.”
And today, on the way out the door, one of the girls came down the steps with her arms held up like she had just scrubbed for surgery and said, with lotion dripping to the floor, “I think I got too much lotion, can you help me?”
So I took one for the team and became the human lotion squeegee, scraping the extra golden honeysuckle cranberry preserve balm off her hands and onto mine. I felt like the secret service taking a bullet for the president. Knowing that I would spend this day like a walking, talking human version of The Body.
But as a dad, i took (instead of a bullet) the lotion.
And today my new “dad job” is to smell fabulous…

Posted on September 9, 2011, in Dad stuff, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. and you are so welcome for sharing all my lotion with you. 🙂

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