For all the daddy’s who are home while their wives are at #MOPS

For the Daddy’s whose wives are at #mopscv…

I ran some Showoffs Art things out to the @DaySpringcards booth at the MOPS conveion last night. Escaped with my life as I got out just before they opened the doors to the exhibit hall and a herd of SDM (Shopping Deprived Momma’s) came rushing through the doors like the Bulls at Pamplona.

And as I saw the throng of SDM’s I was reminded that here was an equally large throng of SDD (Sleep Deprived Daddy’s) back home in Tulsa, or Topeka, or Toofaraway or wherever.

Gentlemen, I have been where you are.

We have three daughters aged 12, 14, and 15. So if you roll the clock back back a dozen or so years, you will see that I had three pre-schoolers simultaneously. I KNOW the fear you have in being “home alone.”

And because I have walked a mile in your smushed-up Cheerio filled moccasin’s I feel like I have the right to offer the following suggestions:

1. When you talk to your wife while she is out of town and asks “how is everything?” do not say either one of the following: “oh…we’re making it” because if you say this she will be convinced the children are in grave danger. Nor should you answer “we are totally awesome, this is no big deal.” Because if you say this, she will know two things 1) you are a liar; and 2) you are not totally awesome and the children are in danger.

2. For all but the youngest children, crackers, mac & cheese, and applesauce are all you need to eat for the time she is gone. You will not impact the child’s ability to play in the NFL or get into an Ivy League school because of one weekend binge on manufactured food products. Fruit and vegetables are overrated.

3. Do the laundry. All of it. Before your wife comes home.

4. NEVER EVER under any circumstances, when she gets back, utter the phrase “that wasn’t so hard.” Trust me on this one…

5. Make sure you take advantage of this time. Kids are different when momma is away, you’ll see parts of their personalities you don’t normally see.

Mostly have fun, because pretty soon your wife will be a MOESC (Mother of Elementary School Children) and you will not have this time back.

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Posted on August 5, 2011, in Dad stuff, Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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