the smell of desperation

There are a handful of times where I think you can actually smell desperation. Not just see it in someone’s eyes, but really savor the skunky-sweet odor of desperation.

Those times are:

  • 4:30 pm on Halloween in the candy aisle at Wal-Mart. And all that is left is ripped open bag of generic root beer barrels.
  • 5:30 pm on Christmas Eve at the Wal-Mart toy aisle.(interesting how much desperation there is at Wal-Mart) Your chance of a Elmo TMX or PS3 is null. You are just praying to God above that you will find anything that remotely resembles a toy to give your bratty nephew.
  • 5:55 pm at the grocery store on Thanksgiving Eve.

Suffice it to say, the smell at Publix late tomorrow afternoon will not be pecan pies and golden-roasted turkey, but rather the rank-musty smell of desperate housewives in fist-fights and land wars ("these crazy people are driving their buggies like it is the last lap at Talladega…") over the last box of StoveTop Stuffing.

How do I know this…because I have been (and probably will be) part of the desperate hoard trying to talk myself into thinking that leftover Halloween candy corn is an acceptable Thanksgiving vegetable.

Happy stinkin holidays….


Posted on November 25, 2008, in Dad stuff. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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