Looking through a straw

So many times I feel like I’m looking at life through a straw.

Imagine with me, if you will, that all of time and history is thrown on the wall like a giant mural. From Adam and Eve through today til the ends of time, whenever that may be.

And for me to see my part of the extravaganza called life on this planet, I am given a straw and step stool. I slide the stool up to the giant mural, pull the straw out of my bacl pocket, put it up to my eye and squint real hard.

As everything comes into focus, my strawful of life, I see the bits and pieces of all that has gone before, and just the teeniest glimse of what might be tomorrow.

But that is all.

My straw view does not allow me to see how my life intersects with all the others on the mural. I cannot see how the decisions of others before me affect how, and when, and where I live my life. Nor can I see what the same for those in generations ahead.

Just a strawful of life.

And frankly, that is a bit frustrating.

Cause I want to know what tomorrow holds for me, and also for my family. What will the girls do? Who will they marry? Will they have kids? Will Kenzo and Mabel make sure that Suzie is loved and cared for and safe? (that is really what haunts me…)

But I also want to see how the grand expanse of life plays out for everyone around me. How do the orbits of life for those I know(and those I don’t know) impact my life? If the God of the Universe has a plan, why is it that I can only see a strawful at a time?

It’s not that I want to know it all – really I don’t because I am afraid it would be a bit like stumbling on to your Christmas presents in early December. Sure you could enjoy opening them on Christmas Day, but the joy would not be so great.

It’s just that I want a tiny but more understanding of context, how does all this insanity somehow fit together? So I guess I wish that I could maybe trade in my straw for something a little bigger, nothing crazy mind you, maybe just a like a garden hose or a smallish coffe cup.

Would that be too much to ask?   


Posted on October 21, 2008, in Dad stuff. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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