Atwood’s Theorem #1 of Relative Birthday Significance

Now I am not a guy drawn towards the mathematical type of things, but this one was so clear even I could figure it out. All my figuring came as a result of some recent birthday celebration’s around the AtwoodZoo.

Consider the possibility that someone (like me for instance) who might happen to a birthday anywhere near the date of one of their children, (say, for example two days) will almost certainly notice a decline in the amount of attention paid to their birthday, while there is increasingly more attention paid to the birthday of said child. (not that I am whining, mind you…)

And while I have intuitively known this ("birthday attention slippage" was happening, I was not able to quantify said phenomenon. That is, until now. And a public service for those of you with a more statistically-oriented mindset, I have developed a mathematical equation for this very substantial and dynamic regression/increase alignment.

And since I discovered it, I call it Atwood’s Theorem #1 of Relative Birthday Significance

A = (x-y)*(d)/(n-f)*pi

(key to the variables is listed below)

A – Total amount of Attention

x – age of parent

y – age of child

d – # of days between birthday of parent and birthday of child

n -# of children invited to birthday party

f – # of years over 40 the parent is

pi – 3.14 (because for some reason which we discussed back in Mr. Wilson’s 8th grade algebra class but for which I have no recall anymore because I have had a birthday beyond my 40th, every mathematical equation known to man MUST have pi in it….)

Again – not whining (much) – just wanting to quantify the painfully obvious.


Posted on January 30, 2008, in Dad stuff. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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