Atwood’s Theorem #1 of Relative Birthday Significance
Now I am not a guy drawn towards the mathematical type of things, but this one was so clear even I could figure it out. All my figuring came as a result of some recent birthday celebration’s around the AtwoodZoo.
Consider the possibility that someone (like me for instance) who might happen to a birthday anywhere near the date of one of their children, (say, for example two days) will almost certainly notice a decline in the amount of attention paid to their birthday, while there is increasingly more attention paid to the birthday of said child. (not that I am whining, mind you…)
And while I have intuitively known this ("birthday attention slippage" was happening, I was not able to quantify said phenomenon. That is, until now. And a public service for those of you with a more statistically-oriented mindset, I have developed a mathematical equation for this very substantial and dynamic regression/increase alignment.
And since I discovered it, I call it Atwood’s Theorem #1 of Relative Birthday Significance
A = (x-y)*(d)/(n-f)*pi
(key to the variables is listed below)
A – Total amount of Attention
x – age of parent
y – age of child
d – # of days between birthday of parent and birthday of child
n -# of children invited to birthday party
f – # of years over 40 the parent is
pi – 3.14 (because for some reason which we discussed back in Mr. Wilson’s 8th grade algebra class but for which I have no recall anymore because I have had a birthday beyond my 40th, every mathematical equation known to man MUST have pi in it….)
Again – not whining (much) – just wanting to quantify the painfully obvious.