then there are the days….

Then there are the days that make you cry scream cry scream wonder shake your fist at God saying "why…why now…why did she have this horrible seizure where she couldn’t breathe and her lips turned blue and she shook and shook and shook for what seemed like hours but was probably not quite a minute…? why?"

We have had things, and by things I mean seizures, fairly under control. Which is sort of an odd thing to say anyway.

But then this morning, as she is leaning over to give Boomer a treat before we head out, late again, to school, she just locks up. And then just gasps. And her lips turn blue. And I call out for one of the other girls to get the phone (just in case) and we are all "it’s OK Suzie…we’re here Suzie..we love you Suzie…"

And Kenzo is crying and Mabel is gently rubbing her arm.

And I am trying to decide when is the point of no return for calling 911 and answering the sisters…"yes she is OK…I’m sure she’s fine…" but on he inside I am screaming at God, "why now…why her…why…why…why…why?"

Now she is (fitfully) resting in our bed, covered by her favorite Dora blanket and Boomer is dutifully asleep at her feet. Her eyelids flutter and she shimmies around a bit as (I guess) the remnants of the tsunami of electrical activity in her brain are released, just like the last few jags of lightening in a fading summer thunderstorm.

And as I look at her, I am still asking "why?"


Posted on January 16, 2008, in Dad stuff. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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