The air conditioning man is coming…
The air conditioning man is coming this afternoon. Which is good because the upstairs air conditioner gave up the ghost last evening. And so we officially have air that is 100% "un-conditioned." Which can’t be good.
But I must admit, I am always very nervous having guys like the air conditioner guy come over. Because I know NOTHING about air conditioning. Or plumbing. Or electricity. Or building things. Or fixing things. Or heating. Or garage-door openers. Or drainage. Or roofs. Or crawl spaces. I can, however, cut the grass.
So when I meet the air conditioning guy, he will look at the deceased air conditioner (RIP our faithful cooling friend) and poke and go "hmmm…." and say to his air-conditioning sidekick "have you ever seen that before…" and then I joke, "hey, maybe it’s the fetzer valve…you know, the fetzer valve…like from Fletch…the fetzer…"
And the air conditioning guys give me a patronizing "uh-huh" and then begin to determine things about hoses and coils and BTU’s and tonnage and circulation density (I made that one up but it sounded real didn’t it…) and all those things.
And they might say, "so what do you do?" To which I will respond "I’m a writer." And they will say, "what’d you write? Anything famous?" And I will say, the latest thing is a new children’s book from Simon & Schuster.
"Oh…" with a lifted eyebrow is the reply. And then they are back to the "cooling density" manly-man type of things, while I head back to the coolness of the still "conditioned" downstairs to consider words and writing;all the time thinking "I wonder how many books I have to sell to pay for the air conditioning guys and the newborn air conditioner."
Maybe I’ll write a book about air conditioning guys to pay for the actual air conditioning guys. Now that would be ironic….I could call it "Fetzer Valve Friday…"